tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-84355528232456422512024-03-02T02:07:31.145+01:00Petit précis de Grumeautique - Blog illustréPetit précis de grumeautique - Blog illustré.
Bienvenue en République Bananière et Autoproclamée du Grumeauland.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger877125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435552823245642251.post-71715696032815988152020-09-14T07:00:00.040+02:002020-09-14T07:00:05.128+02:00Le Grumeauland déménage !<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOdYShmiQBNM5qRl-UXcG0x9WHAjwl631dfODEM2TRHaO-0xf3tENesZ4T2RbJ-mB41WgiZeOjSQcI2vt4lyhtEM-1YosNxPDmF0lVM5OlJe09pOCpKeLLdHTKWRIbgUHStwXcGYcx_CQ/s992/De%25CC%2581me%25CC%2581nagement.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="992" data-original-width="595" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOdYShmiQBNM5qRl-UXcG0x9WHAjwl631dfODEM2TRHaO-0xf3tENesZ4T2RbJ-mB41WgiZeOjSQcI2vt4lyhtEM-1YosNxPDmF0lVM5OlJe09pOCpKeLLdHTKWRIbgUHStwXcGYcx_CQ/s16000/De%25CC%2581me%25CC%2581nagement.jpg" /></a></div><p></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 12px; text-align: center;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Chers concipriotes, chères compatoyennes, Gürdula mon Araignée-Licorne, </span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 12px; text-align: center;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Ta famille bananière est heureuse de vous annoncer que <b><span style="color: red; font-size: medium;">le Grumeauland déménage</span></b> dans un blog tout neuf qui sent bon la peinture fraîche et le cul des vaches !</span></p><p class="p1" style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 12px; text-align: center;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;">Pensez donc à mettre à jour vos liens, enfilez vos plus beaux chaussons-lapinou et rejoignez-nous vite ici :</span></p><p class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 12px; text-align: center;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b><span style="color: red; font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.nathaliejomard.com/grumeautique">www.nathaliejomard.com/grumeautique</a></span></b></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 12px; text-align: center;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></span></p><p class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 12px; text-align: center;"><span class="s1" style="font-kerning: none;"><b><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></b></span></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435552823245642251.post-75530390794279175202020-09-07T07:00:00.005+02:002020-09-07T07:00:04.978+02:00La saga de la rentrée - Millésime 2020<p> </p>
<span style="color: red;"><i>(Petit récap' pour ceux qui n'ont pas suivi depuis le début)</i></span><br />
<br />
Chers concipriotes, chères compatoyennes, Gürdula mon araignée-licorne,<br />
<br />
Vous qui
me lisez depuis quelques temps déjà, vous êtes probablement familiers
avec les rendez-vous manqués de la rentrée de Ton Bouffon abandonnique.<br />
<br />
Souvenez-vous,
en 2010, j'ai raté la rentrée parce que j'avais piscine et
accessoirement cul de pingouin (pour ceux qui n'ont pas suivi, une
piqûre de rappel <a href="http://grumeautique.blogspot.fr/2010/09/la-saga-de-la-rentree-episode-1.html"><span style="font-size: 130%;"><b><span style="color: red;">ici</span></b></span></a> et <a href="http://grumeautique.blogspot.fr/2010/09/la-saga-de-la-rentree-episode-2.html"><span style="font-size: 130%;"><b><span style="color: red;">là</span></b></span></a>).<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgldFCNh9dQPdQwbt_DsY255t_HdYMxRy_3MYisE-Y1JXkO4wvyd_z29KkBqL0ACEwppj3PgC2Cdhos5vCLtVL-5tVx7DyjLi33X_l95V4ND2ZE1AkRd2ZhYzE2LBe2vFKlNecMLpYyqnw/s1600/Pas-l%2527e%25CC%2581cole-2012-1.gif"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5786108630420319202" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgldFCNh9dQPdQwbt_DsY255t_HdYMxRy_3MYisE-Y1JXkO4wvyd_z29KkBqL0ACEwppj3PgC2Cdhos5vCLtVL-5tVx7DyjLi33X_l95V4ND2ZE1AkRd2ZhYzE2LBe2vFKlNecMLpYyqnw/s400/Pas-l%2527e%25CC%2581cole-2012-1.gif" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 332px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;" /></a><br />
En
2011, j'ai également raté la rentrée à l'insu de mon plein gré car
j'avais poney et accessoirement cul de pachyderme (pour ceux qui n'ont
pas suivi, décidément vous mériteriez qu'on vous tire les oreilles
vilains garnements, un rappel <a href="http://grumeautique.blogspot.fr/2011/09/de-la-constance-dans-limmuabilite.html"><span style="color: red; font-size: 130%;"><b>ici</b></span></a>)<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1eq98Hsthtzl6Wn9abuXOlmuBkRhrlU__NFyAYjIsvpYQ2jKIjUiyfxv1KGoLGnYdz5mZgfIO-NXBu9vOkk3AodNQsPTtyQUHXl_-gtSd8yQyNcndwAUfOVZn4y8SiEX90hRRGSis3HE/s1600/Pas-l%2527e%25CC%2581cole-2012-2.gif"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5786109551015240626" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1eq98Hsthtzl6Wn9abuXOlmuBkRhrlU__NFyAYjIsvpYQ2jKIjUiyfxv1KGoLGnYdz5mZgfIO-NXBu9vOkk3AodNQsPTtyQUHXl_-gtSd8yQyNcndwAUfOVZn4y8SiEX90hRRGSis3HE/s400/Pas-l%2527e%25CC%2581cole-2012-2.gif" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 294px;" /></a><br />
Afin
de perpétuer un exercice qui est devenu au fil des années une véritable
institution de la dérobade couarde et irresponsable, en 2012 Ton
Bouffon a encore raté la rentrée car il avait peinture à l'eau
et accessoirement cul de caribou (avec la gracieuse participation et
l'aide inestimable des Statàlacon.com dont nous remercions nos généreux
contributeurs anonymes et secoués du bulbe - pour ceux qui n'ont pas
suivi, là vraiment on va finir par croire que vous le faites exprès, un
rappel <a href="http://grumeautique.blogspot.fr/2012/03/statalaconcom-episode-4.html"><span style="font-size: 130%;"><b><span style="color: red;">ici</span></b></span></a>)<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoFcS6c8To44V7yEIqSy3B-nJAl9OG_dB_kmApntcM4Ng2NVszyBS4WaBp5-3gQ59L-IYqIBCbxPjIOc4dB59afJ_oSUa-OU3NCzK5Y3Rgthdn8tSBI2eQx4DrWL1TpNrBPqAQBXHd-QQ/s1600/Pas-l%2527e%25CC%2581cole-2012-3.gif"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5786112456749872850" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoFcS6c8To44V7yEIqSy3B-nJAl9OG_dB_kmApntcM4Ng2NVszyBS4WaBp5-3gQ59L-IYqIBCbxPjIOc4dB59afJ_oSUa-OU3NCzK5Y3Rgthdn8tSBI2eQx4DrWL1TpNrBPqAQBXHd-QQ/s800/Pas-l%2527e%25CC%2581cole-2012-3.gif" style="display: block; height: 406px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 500px;" /></a><br />
<br />
En
2013, c'est avec l'inébranlable résolution de la moule qui s'accroche
au rocher de ses traditions ancestrales que je continue à célébrer mon
rituel exil rectal de la rentrée scolaire. Cette fois, afin d'élargir
mon champ "d'interactions sociales" j'avais décidé d'explorer d'autres
horizons réclusifs quelque peu plus exotiques... <a href="http://grumeautique.blogspot.fr/2013/09/la-saga-de-la-rentree-episode-2013.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: red;"><b>Ici</b></span></span></a><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCeuSRBmIixfux6BM5jmzlU3lnp49klTFyzALcLqyOnUcot-xnU8VPLlsX7nLk_npKrpbrcFWkEIZCJAWFaWq6U2tD_uH_CrjVsyPN0O0r_gL1XKpQUo2BwnmgshozPywFnfysVnR_Csw/s1600/Pas+l%27e%CC%81cole+2013-2.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="556" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCeuSRBmIixfux6BM5jmzlU3lnp49klTFyzALcLqyOnUcot-xnU8VPLlsX7nLk_npKrpbrcFWkEIZCJAWFaWq6U2tD_uH_CrjVsyPN0O0r_gL1XKpQUo2BwnmgshozPywFnfysVnR_Csw/s800/Pas+l'e%CC%81cole+2013-2.jpg" width="500" /></a></div>
<br />
En 2014, pour célébrer mes 5 ans d'exode rectal, j'avais décidé de mettre à l'honneur notre faune mammifère locale.<br />
Là tu me vois, et là, hop ! Tu me vois plus !<br />
C'est magique ! <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv_vaNmECFuV2138dBoU3MU011GtT5Vp-Nso_oclatt_F2eKjuGULdSxb3NqR3bhKI9c6cbCqqn-i1a_WIuQsvw66XRHNbivjs8cykWHosZ_K27J66l6bwqYzh4kngaihAyJcJZudq0bE/s1600/Pas+l'e%CC%81cole+2014.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="698" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv_vaNmECFuV2138dBoU3MU011GtT5Vp-Nso_oclatt_F2eKjuGULdSxb3NqR3bhKI9c6cbCqqn-i1a_WIuQsvw66XRHNbivjs8cykWHosZ_K27J66l6bwqYzh4kngaihAyJcJZudq0bE/s1600/Pas+l'e%CC%81cole%2B2014.jpg" width="500" /></a></div>
En
2015, avec tout le sens des responsabilités et la solide réputation
d'inébranlable fiabilité face à l'adversité qui me caractérisent,
j'avais décidé qu'il était urgent de ne rien changer à mes petits
rituels d'esquives saisonnières,<a href="http://grumeautique.blogspot.fr/2015/09/la-saga-de-la-rentree-episode-2015.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: red;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b> ici</b></span></span></a>. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8MiXcwWpoQULyQ3qtta9OV96R7dRONpi_6sfR6CtH96YTb9wk1zG0uycYBu6_Pmwyso6tHPAcKddNY_uSZRZHJN48ahDz0SJMdflvQk7sqPyBckatLMhJ8TEXsu6o81_z9XT9k_tCOJg/s1600/Rentre%25CC%2581e+2015-1.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="850" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8MiXcwWpoQULyQ3qtta9OV96R7dRONpi_6sfR6CtH96YTb9wk1zG0uycYBu6_Pmwyso6tHPAcKddNY_uSZRZHJN48ahDz0SJMdflvQk7sqPyBckatLMhJ8TEXsu6o81_z9XT9k_tCOJg/s800/Rentre%25CC%2581e+2015-1.jpg" width="428" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDHkmZQp9Iix0dHBum9AO5R6ESUu-3QsNCO9F9tvp5O8gdWCtLe58dibf-X6kBrKtd819ynI73zHGKZY_BTTr82AZE9tdTgqoP2AAaXibPRirROPDwzH5KHd0TRwnDV4XaTjcPUoFRkPw/s1600/Rentre%25CC%2581e+2015-2.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="491" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDHkmZQp9Iix0dHBum9AO5R6ESUu-3QsNCO9F9tvp5O8gdWCtLe58dibf-X6kBrKtd819ynI73zHGKZY_BTTr82AZE9tdTgqoP2AAaXibPRirROPDwzH5KHd0TRwnDV4XaTjcPUoFRkPw/s800/Rentre%25CC%2581e+2015-2.jpg" width="500" /></a></div>
<br />
En 2016, l'expérience et mon immense talent pour
l'escamotage rectal ayant atteint des sommets de virtuosité, il était
tout naturel que je finisse cachée dans le cul d'une Patate-Licorne, <span style="color: red; font-size: medium;"><b><a href="https://grumeautique.blogspot.com/2016/09/la-saga-de-la-rentree-episode-2016.html" target="_blank">ici</a></b></span>.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitCWqYz819o5Bep7hivThwYPLF2AqWzBSyR7oDLNJKVQJteHyeeWqoY6kwRBQsA_kVvVaG6-U9s9zHSOtvYg9qm509GY53zebqMKuf6XY14rSq77uEcH88kXrsJbwcEwMx6DgIvAWHjmc/s1600/Rentre%25CC%2581e+2016.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="452" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitCWqYz819o5Bep7hivThwYPLF2AqWzBSyR7oDLNJKVQJteHyeeWqoY6kwRBQsA_kVvVaG6-U9s9zHSOtvYg9qm509GY53zebqMKuf6XY14rSq77uEcH88kXrsJbwcEwMx6DgIvAWHjmc/s800/Rentre%25CC%2581e+2016.jpg" width="500" /></a></div>
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En 2017, avec la rentrée au collège de Grumeau, il était fondamental que je trouve une cachette encore plus insaisissable et inviolable qu'à l'accoutumée. Heureusement, cette année-là l'actualité internationale étant une source d'inspiration inépuisable, les options de retraite foisonnaient, <b><span style="color: red; font-size: medium;"><a href="https://grumeautique.blogspot.com/2017/09/la-saga-de-la-rentree-episode-2017.html" target="_blank">là</a></span></b>. </div>
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Cette année 2020, toujours guidé par son indécrottable instinct de dérobade septembrifère, Ton Bouffon Bananier, résolu à noyer ses états d'âme abandonniques dans d'improbables retraites poporectales aux horizons pittoresques a décidé d'opter pour la cachette la plus évidente certes, mais aussi celle où on sera le moins susceptible de prendre le risque d'aller la chercher.<div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzDHPf3LbCTfk6f7c7eBAm2KVjsWABUDTwXe7kg68Q8N8bARHEnA6Zi4C8k98vxPyjxoPAawkQ26ksJ6cFN_IaoQcTUcCB9UE6MpBBMoPbHsLpAgPmqTFEhmMiaCN2BXGc8DmIU8FX6GQ/s850/Rentre%25CC%2581e+2020.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="850" data-original-width="615" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzDHPf3LbCTfk6f7c7eBAm2KVjsWABUDTwXe7kg68Q8N8bARHEnA6Zi4C8k98vxPyjxoPAawkQ26ksJ6cFN_IaoQcTUcCB9UE6MpBBMoPbHsLpAgPmqTFEhmMiaCN2BXGc8DmIU8FX6GQ/w464-h640/Rentre%25CC%2581e+2020.jpg" width="464" /></a></div><br /><div><br />
<br /></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435552823245642251.post-55152209132786292472020-07-20T07:00:00.000+02:002020-07-20T07:00:04.326+02:00Je peux pas dessiner, j'ai transat<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjubg1TsYd7nrSVSO0DmUkYhpa8h5kfFKgNlfgFCeq_wSqbVMDYSmuSEEBCwNGdCxFGJcG5woQhRHhmtexlqF2KPsO2vjKccvJTs-HHaaelM3znuVlpEnYTwM6X22_3ia2UmCuzSy_JI7k/s1600/Vvvvvvacances%2521%2521%2521.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="709" data-original-width="561" height="632" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjubg1TsYd7nrSVSO0DmUkYhpa8h5kfFKgNlfgFCeq_wSqbVMDYSmuSEEBCwNGdCxFGJcG5woQhRHhmtexlqF2KPsO2vjKccvJTs-HHaaelM3znuVlpEnYTwM6X22_3ia2UmCuzSy_JI7k/s800/Vvvvvvacances%2521%2521%2521.jpg" width="500" /></a></div>
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<b><i>Communiqué à bretelles du Ministère de l'Oisiveté et de la Torpeur Estivale</i></b></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Chers concipriotes, chères compatoyennes, Gürdula mon Araignée-Licorne,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
la Mémé de mon hamster,</div>
<br />
Comme chaque année à la même époque, la main qui dessine de Ton Bouffon Bananier est subitement atteinte d'une crise chronique de flemmingite ankylosante oisive idiopathique. En gros, elle préfère se prélasser les phalanges dans un transat plutôt que de bosser cette grosse feignasse.<br />
<br />
Ragnagna Mangedécroûtes, notre intellectuellement constipé alter-ego bananier, s'est bien aimablement proposée pour agrémenter le blog de ses œuvres le temps de la pause estivale.<br />
Cela dit, après concertation avec moi-même et le Comité Scientifique des Idées Pourries et considérant la qualité esthétique de la production ragnagnesque (dont voici un exemple - Et non, ce n'est pas moi sur les dessins, ne commencez pas hein) :<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKubxtt-eo5NTZyUhMtLLVzC_jnVGp6YZvUX6H0q0yH4droingCT5hsH9tjvEc4zIRiIUUqMzHd6fqLOYM3I2y5gZWGhchOY1UGY9fQRARHlP2RyySQQ0IyJNpnuv4SEYsie04MwY272k/s1600/La+pinupa%25CC%2580Ragnagna-V2020.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="590" data-original-width="850" height="347" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKubxtt-eo5NTZyUhMtLLVzC_jnVGp6YZvUX6H0q0yH4droingCT5hsH9tjvEc4zIRiIUUqMzHd6fqLOYM3I2y5gZWGhchOY1UGY9fQRARHlP2RyySQQ0IyJNpnuv4SEYsie04MwY272k/s800/La+pinupa%25CC%2580Ragnagna-V2020.jpg" width="500" /></a></div>
<br />
il a été décidé à l'unanimité que non, décidément, c'est vraiment une idée pourrie.<br />
<br />
Du coup, on se retrouve en dessins dans quelques semaines.<br />
<br />
D'ici-là, portez un masque et prenez soin de vous et du barbecue.<br />
<br />
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<i>Ton Bouffon Bananier</i></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435552823245642251.post-12378956590297543222020-07-13T07:00:00.000+02:002020-07-13T07:00:02.330+02:00Il est trop calme, c'est louche...<br />
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Je tiens à assurer le Syndicat National des Tables en Verre Martyrs Domestiques de tout mon soutien. Suite à une nouvelle circulaire ministérielle du Haut Commissariat aux Lois à Bretelles, le Grumeauland s'équipera dorénavant exclusivement de cailloux en mousse.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435552823245642251.post-65311278664157947922020-07-06T07:00:00.000+02:002020-07-06T07:00:01.982+02:00Fananaaaaaaaaaaaa !<br />
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Ainsi débuta la légende de Fanana, Prince de l'Empire du Moelleux, de la Maison Acarien, Premier du nom, Roi des Vandales, Suzerain des Sept Coussins, Protecteur des poufs, l'Agité, Briseur de nouilles et Père des Édredons.</div>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435552823245642251.post-49357303917574479582020-06-29T07:00:00.000+02:002020-06-29T07:00:04.296+02:00Les graines de la discorde<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJxs5kljMTMwLsL26UNeie_nQd4SKfZ4yo52sQqBpy093JurrOepoEL7nZbxHMaj5n-4VynG04k2gJ-3KledLuJqjlTaTDmp646kUdUTveS6J4i5j-g7NHG6dUl2mTfZxm7J_xpKjoxjQ/s1600/La+graine+de+la+discorde1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="283" data-original-width="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJxs5kljMTMwLsL26UNeie_nQd4SKfZ4yo52sQqBpy093JurrOepoEL7nZbxHMaj5n-4VynG04k2gJ-3KledLuJqjlTaTDmp646kUdUTveS6J4i5j-g7NHG6dUl2mTfZxm7J_xpKjoxjQ/s1600/La+graine+de+la+discorde1.jpg" /></a></div>
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On sait pas... ça manquait peut-être d'arrosage...
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435552823245642251.post-86636519061638239062020-06-22T07:00:00.000+02:002020-06-22T07:00:03.223+02:00Téléstrangulation et distanciation sociale<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Dans son ouvrage à paraître aux Éditions Brutal <i>"Traité de psychopathologie ou comment se débarrasser de sa sœur sans passer par la case prison"</i>, l'éminent psychopathe Furax Barbarof théorise et développe une toute nouvelle approche criminogène tout à fait compatible avec les préconisations de distanciation sociale en vigueur actuellement : <b>la téléstrangulation</b>.<br />
L'idée étant d'utiliser les techniques standard de télépathie appliquées à un projet criminel. Gageons que d'ici peu, cette technique fera un tabac sur internet où tout le monde se mettra à organiser des soirée Stranguloskype à distance.
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435552823245642251.post-33625724908577795012020-06-15T07:00:00.000+02:002020-06-15T07:00:01.704+02:00Statàlacon.com - Tu veux être mon copain ?<br />
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Et si vous êtes bien sages, la prochaine fois on vous dessinera peut-être une araignée-babouin.
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435552823245642251.post-56773020094444770222020-06-08T07:00:00.000+02:002020-06-13T13:03:54.561+02:00Une journée ordinaire au Grumeauland<iframe allow="encrypted-media" allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" height="20" scrolling="no" src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/share_button.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fgrumeautique.blogspot.com%2F2020%2F06%2Fune-journee-ordinaire-au-grumeauland.html&layout=button_count&size=small&width=91&height=20&appId" style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" width="150"></iframe><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #030303; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Oui, Furax a un talent caché : il imite merveilleusement bien le grille-pain (surtout l'instant magique où le toast jaillit avec le feu aux fesses). C'est bluffant de réalisme ! On s'y croirait. </span></span></div>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435552823245642251.post-71719821173577894912020-05-25T07:00:00.000+02:002020-06-08T07:13:50.733+02:00Petit intermède de science capillaire<iframe allow="encrypted-media" allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" height="20" scrolling="no" src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/share_button.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fgrumeautique.blogspot.com%2F2020%2F05%2Fpetit-intermede-de-science-capillaire.html&layout=button_count&size=small&width=111&height=20&appId" style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" width="150"></iframe><br />
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Bien entendu, par pure curiosité scientifique, suite à cet épisode, le Grumeau a tenu à vérifier si un pied lancé à 56 km/heure dans le postérieur fraternel était en mesure de démultiplier la force cinétique initiale obtenue grâce à un bourrepif vengeur afin de fournir suffisamment d'énergie pour propulser un corps en orbite autour de la table de la salle à manger.
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435552823245642251.post-91390782277267410832020-05-18T07:00:00.000+02:002020-06-08T07:14:44.970+02:00Grumeaupédia 2.0<iframe allow="encrypted-media" allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" height="20" scrolling="no" src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/share_button.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fgrumeautique.blogspot.com%2F2020%2F05%2Fgrumeaupedia-20.html&layout=button_count&size=small&width=103&height=20&appId" style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" width="150"></iframe>
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<i>Si tu sais pas, tu demandes à Grumeaupédia.</i><br />
Et si vous êtes biens sages, la prochaine fois, le Grumeaupédia vous expliquera ce qu'est la Saint Glinglin.
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435552823245642251.post-30461967461070399702020-05-11T07:00:00.000+02:002020-06-08T07:15:39.145+02:00Le blues du Bouffonoptera Aimepalémathematicus<iframe allow="encrypted-media" allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" height="20" scrolling="no" src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/share_button.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fgrumeautique.blogspot.com%2F2020%2F05%2Fle-blues-du-bouffonoptera.html&layout=button_count&size=small&width=102&height=20&appId" style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" width="150"></iframe>
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Le Bouffonoptera Aimepaslémathematicus est un mammifère algèbrophobe de la famille des Calculoréfractopodes. Lorsqu'il est attaqué par un problème de mathématiques d'un niveau supérieur à la grande section de maternelle, afin d'échapper à un douloureux moment d'intense désarroi algébrique, le Bouffonoptera Aimepalémathematicus, tel un majestueux ersatz d'autruche piafocanthrope, s'enfouit la tête dans le sol en attendant patiemment que la menace mathématique passe.
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435552823245642251.post-33655408288479714452020-05-04T07:00:00.000+02:002020-05-09T18:41:31.327+02:00De la sémantique alternative<iframe allow="encrypted-media" allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" height="20" scrolling="no" src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/share_button.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fgrumeautique.blogspot.com%2F2020%2F05%2Fde-la-semantique-alternative.html&layout=button_count&size=small&width=102&height=20&appId" style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" width="102"></iframe><br />
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Bon... après... il ne faut pas exclure dans les jours qui viennent l'apparition fort opportune d'une obscure étude affirmant que les masques maison réalisés avec de vieux rognons de serpillières en bambou équitable ou des chutes d'antiques slips troués en coton bio soient tout aussi efficaces que les masques chirurgicaux ou FFP2.<br />
Étude bénie qui nous permettra d'aller redresser la FrOnce l'esprit tranquille.
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435552823245642251.post-51174223404440292992020-04-27T07:00:00.000+02:002020-04-27T09:48:23.226+02:00Chroniques du confinement - TraumatiMses<iframe allow="encrypted-media" allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" height="20" scrolling="no" src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/share_button.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fgrumeautique.blogspot.com%2F2020%2F04%2Fchroniques-du-confinement-traumatimses.html&layout=button_count&size=small&width=91&height=20&appId" style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" width="91"></iframe><br />
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Dans son ouvrage intitulé <i>"Les sources du traumatisme : résilience mon cul"</i>, l'éminent psychanalyste Igmar Von Maboul expose la théorie selon laquelle l'origami et la pâte à sel sont les deux mamelles constitutives de lourds traumatismes à l'origine d'un rejet viscéral de toute forme de loisir créatif chez le sujet trop lourdement exposé par le passé à des ateliers créatifs à base de rognons de rouleaux de PQ et de papiers colorés.
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435552823245642251.post-14463167324780184912020-04-20T07:00:00.000+02:002020-04-20T10:47:00.201+02:00Chroniques du confinement - Leçon de communion fraternelle<iframe allow="encrypted-media" allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" height="20" scrolling="no" src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/share_button.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fgrumeautique.blogspot.com%2F2020%2F04%2Fchroniques-du-confinement-lecon-de.html&layout=button_count&size=small&width=91&height=20&appId" style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" width="91"></iframe><br />
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Bon, mettons un instant de côté le fait qu'ils s'aiment et s'accordent mutuellement à peu près autant qu'un influenceur et une chronique éco sur BFM TV et apprécions le fait que cette promiscuité forcée a l'avantage de développer chez eux un certain art de l'insulte imagée et du vocabulaire fleuri que le Capitaine Haddock leur envierait fort probablement.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435552823245642251.post-27444416120140046522020-04-14T07:00:00.000+02:002020-04-14T09:10:50.961+02:00Chroniques du confinement - Les clés stratégiques pour foirer son télétravail<iframe allow="encrypted-media" allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" height="20" scrolling="no" src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/share_button.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fgrumeautique.blogspot.com%2F2020%2F04%2Fchroniques-du-confinement-les-cles.html&layout=button_count&size=small&width=91&height=20&appId" style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" width="91"></iframe><br />
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Dans son dernier ouvrage à paraître aux Éditions Delalouze <i>"Chroniques du confinement, les clés stratégiques pour foirer efficacement son télétravail" </i>Ton Bouffon bananier recense les meilleurs tuyaux pour ruiner sa productivité avec succès.<br />
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Faire ses courses en ligne en période de confinement, c'est un peu comme écoper une barque qui prend l'eau à l'aide d'une passoire et d'un presse-purée. C'est du domaine du fantasme.<br />
Mais voyons le bon côté des choses, la soupe de pangolin cul-de-jatte du Périgord ne pourra pas être plus immangeable que la tambouille approximative de Ton Bouffon bananier.
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435552823245642251.post-55289990495866447392020-03-30T07:00:00.000+02:002020-03-30T18:15:14.995+02:00Chroniques du confinement - Je suis une légende-mais-presque<iframe allow="encrypted-media" allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" height="20" scrolling="no" src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/share_button.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fgrumeautique.blogspot.com%2F2020%2F03%2Fchroniques-du-confinement-je-suis-une.html&layout=button_count&size=small&width=111&height=20&appId" style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" width="111"></iframe>
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En ce moment sur vos écrans, un monument du film d'horreur à bretelles : </div>
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<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">"Je suis une légende-mais-presque"</span></i></b></div>
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<i>Alors que le monde sombre dans le chaos suite à une extinction inexpliquée de PQ et qu'un mystérieux virus avec un improbable nom de bière ravage les rayons de supermarchés, une mère tente désespérément de survivre au confinement et à la continuité pédagogique en se réfugiant dans les WC.</i><br />
<i>Car dehors, il n'y a pas que le virus qui rôde...</i>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435552823245642251.post-59788079328372342852020-03-23T07:00:00.000+01:002020-03-23T12:36:16.046+01:00Chroniques de la continuité pédagogique<iframe allow="encrypted-media" allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" height="20" scrolling="no" src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/share_button.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fgrumeautique.blogspot.com%2F2020%2F03%2Fchroniques-de-la-continuite-pedagogique.html&layout=button_count&size=small&width=103&height=20&appId" style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" width="103"></iframe><br />
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Et ne venez pas me dire que les enseignants et les enfants (et les parents) en profitent pour se tourner les pouces.<br />
Ils sont tous à fond, professionnels, consciencieux, impliqués et motivés.<br />
Et on sait à quel point ce n'est pas facile (surtout en cette terrible période de disette de PQ).<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435552823245642251.post-3072342477527289802020-03-16T07:00:00.000+01:002020-03-16T09:26:39.869+01:00La CapotàCorona<iframe allow="encrypted-media" allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" height="20" scrolling="no" src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/share_button.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fgrumeautique.blogspot.com%2F2020%2F03%2Fla-capotacorona.html&layout=button_count&size=small&width=91&height=20&appId" style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" width="91"></iframe><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggoEUeMAFyR4mDA5n5qzfENC4s5ekTWtm39Z7d8K84zZgGzWi40Mzz1A5nuvJZ9V1t9C75sTSSd2rXNn_kwCuCi92rgYXrrE2FLaUxl-y2CfNAAKHtZpiup4hA7p9tE-wBZIjt_QvtDPU/s1600/Corona.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1134" data-original-width="464" height="1134" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggoEUeMAFyR4mDA5n5qzfENC4s5ekTWtm39Z7d8K84zZgGzWi40Mzz1A5nuvJZ9V1t9C75sTSSd2rXNn_kwCuCi92rgYXrrE2FLaUxl-y2CfNAAKHtZpiup4hA7p9tE-wBZIjt_QvtDPU/s1200/Corona.jpg" width="464" /></a></div>
Et ne vous étonnez pas si suite à cette publication le prix de la CapotàCorona explose et passe à 9999 euros le cm2.<br />
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Prenez soin de vous et des vôtres, soyez raisonnables, ne mourez pas, vous n'êtes pas la mémé de mon hamster.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435552823245642251.post-90601848422971105392020-03-09T07:00:00.000+01:002020-03-09T07:00:09.012+01:00Chat-Bouboule in Grumeauland - Épisode 41<br />
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Ceci est un communiqué préventif du Ministère de la Santé à Bretelles du Grumeauland.<br />
Et ne vous étonnez pas si suite à la publication de ce communiqué le prix du gant Mapa passe à 1999 euros le cm2.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435552823245642251.post-68077048632624293282020-02-24T07:00:00.000+01:002020-02-24T14:53:25.287+01:00Allergie fraternelle<iframe allow="encrypted-media" allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" height="20" scrolling="no" src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/share_button.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fgrumeautique.blogspot.com%2F2020%2F02%2Fallergie-fraternelle.html&layout=button_count&size=small&width=103&height=20&appId" style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" width="103"></iframe><br />
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Parce qu'au prick test chez l'allergo, lorsqu'on expose le Grumeau à une dose infinitésimale de Furax urticant la réaction est immédiate : prurit, érythème et œdème fulgurants associés à une réaction immunologique de rejet se caractérisant par un accès sévère de vacheries verbales incontrôlables.
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435552823245642251.post-56471310445751289172020-02-17T07:00:00.000+01:002020-02-17T10:44:45.936+01:00L'amour est aveugle<iframe allow="encrypted-media" allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" height="20" scrolling="no" src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/share_button.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fgrumeautique.blogspot.com%2F2020%2F02%2Flamour-est-aveugle.html%3Ffbclid%3DIwAR1WOkUqWdNQ33fkXJhcN7i3UDaF3fDON89cdnWmhkcqoUuS5OdOtZFmwQI&layout=button_count&size=small&width=91&height=20&appId" style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" width="91"></iframe><br />
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Heureusement, ma beauté intérieure étant inversement proportionnelle à l'état de délabrement avancé de mon enveloppe charnelle, mon score de charme global reste dans des limites humainement acceptables même en période virale.<br />
En gros, au hasard des attaques virales je peux avoir l'air d'un taudis sur pattes mais en vrai, à l'intérieur de mon Moi profond, je suis Miss Monde et avec ça je tombe Brad Pitt quand je veux (enfin... en théorie... d'après les bouquins et Tata Fernande qui lit la rubrique Psycho de Cagole Magazine).
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435552823245642251.post-15112196447498003272020-02-10T07:00:00.000+01:002020-02-10T09:19:35.605+01:00Introducing : la mémé de mon hamster<iframe allow="encrypted-media" allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" height="20" scrolling="no" src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/share_button.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fgrumeautique.blogspot.com%2F2020%2F02%2Fintroducing-la-meme-de-mon-hamster.html&layout=button_count&size=small&width=91&height=20&appId" style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" width="91"></iframe><br />
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Du coup, aujourd'hui je peux pas aller au sport, j'enterre la mémé de mon hamster.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8435552823245642251.post-55589359308202650272020-02-03T07:00:00.000+01:002020-02-03T10:06:38.034+01:00Chat-Bouboule in Grumeauland - Épisode 40<iframe allow="encrypted-media" allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" height="20" scrolling="no" src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/share_button.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fgrumeautique.blogspot.com%2F2020%2F02%2Fchat-bouboule-in-grumeauland-episode-40.html%3Ffbclid%3DIwAR00FA8N3ep6AQLCCO_25h0tHUsJLXF9vmiWWz8v1tGqO9GC6-WSWqNYnhI&layout=button_count&size=small&width=91&height=20&appId" style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" width="91"></iframe><br />
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Parfois, dans un inopiné et brusque élan de créativité loufoque, Sa Sérénissime Frapadingosité produit de curieux concepts aussi vertigineusement improbables que celui de la bénédiction au croupion.<br />
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